Steroids, Joyful Steroids - Part One

It’s been a weird week. Amelia is approximately halfway through delayed intensification, and has been taking many chemotherapy drugs, including – dum dum dummmmm – the wicked steroids. The Mayo Clinic lists potential side effects of oral dexamethasone as follows:



• Confusion

• Excitement (I think not sleeping at all qualifies as excitement)

• False sense of well-being

• Hallucinations (seeing, hearing, or feeling things that are not there)

• Mental depression

• Mistaken feelings of self-importance or being mistreated (Diva? Yes, I know this diva you speak of…)

• Mood swings (sudden and wide)

• Restlessness

• Skin rash or hives

• Abdominal or stomach pain or burning (continuing)

• Acne

• Bloody or black, tarry stools (yikes, thankfully not)

• Changes in vision

• Eye pain

• Filling or rounding out of the face (ya think?)

• Headache

• Irregular heartbeat

• Menstrual problems ( a few years too soon for that little complication)

• Muscle cramps or pain

• Muscle weakness (yup)

• Nausea

• Pain in arms, back, hips, legs, ribs, or shoulders (yup times two)

• Reddish purple lines on arms, face, groin, legs, or trunk

• Redness of eyes

• Sensitivity of eyes to light

• Stunting of growth (hopefully not, she’s doomed to microstature as it is)

• Swelling of feet or lower legs

• Tearing of eyes

• Thin, shiny skin

• Trouble in sleeping (ha!)

• Unusual bruising

• Unusual increase in hair growth

• Unusual tiredness or weakness

• Vomiting

• Weight gain (rapid)

• Wounds that will not heal

• Increased appetite (note to self: hire chef to prepare meals at all hours…oh crap, I’m already qualified)

• Indigestion

• Nervousness or restlessness

• Darkening or lightening of skin color

• Dizziness or lightheadedness

• Flushing of face or cheeks

• Hiccups

• Sensation of spinning (that sounds like the one that’s the most fun!)

That’s a lot of bad stuff to look out for, no? Hooray for being finished with the bastards for now. Though I know that steroids are a critical component of a successful chemotherapy protocol, I hate them.

Did you hear that, Steroids? I. Hate. You.

I hate that my kid’s gorgeous bald noggin looks like the harvest moon. I hate that she treats us like crap. I hate that she feels like crap. I hate cooking in the middle of the night. I hate that nobody has slept for two weeks.

But they are done and slowly suffering the process of metabolization out of her body (go liver, go!) – who ever said an eye for an eye isn’t fair punishment for a wicked perpetrator such as dex?

Anyway, in light of the diva effect of steroids and rampant influenza, we’ve been home a lot. I mean, A LOT. What have I been cooking, you ask? I’ve been cooking whatever Amelia is craving – I’ve recreated McDonald’s Egg McMuffin (sans cheese and “ham”), I’ve made Annie’s mac-n-cheese at inappropriate hours of the night, doled out more yogurt than any one cow should be responsible for providing the raw ingredients for, and spent a small fortune on snack foods, only to have them pitched into the garbage because they didn’t taste the way they were expected to (stupid snack foods, they ought to know better).

Here is a summary of our week in pictures. One has to be really creative to keep two young kids happy at home…

Molly has fun, no matter what (first, trash Mom's office, then dance upon the carnage)...

...and Amelia really tries.

She painted this Monarch butterfly...